Many years ago I was asked to lead a class about relationships at a Jr. High Camp. Now I am probably the least qualified to give advice about relationships and can only imagine my reaction was much like this GIF. Each day focused on a different relationship e.g. friends, self, significant other, etc. One of the days was strictly focused on our relationship with God. I prompted the twenty kids to write down questions they have about God. One question in particular received a lot of discussion, do we have a purpose? One girl shared about her brother who died at age 2 from a hole in his heart. You could hear the anger in her voice and see how she disliked talking about the experience because she could not find a purpose in her brother's death. The group was amazing in listening and supporting her. We also dialogued the role God has in our loss. At the end we prayed for the girl and her brother. Tears rolled down her eyes as the friends near her held tight to her hurting soul. It was a moving experience for our class and one that took us deeper as a group. Moving Forward Everyone is different so please do not assume I am saying everyone needs to cry to move on from such an experience. However I do want to acknowledge that crying along with many other things allows the hurt to be experienced instead of suppressing it. Dealing with loss is a process. I would encourage you to look up Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief which acknowledges various experiences people go through when working through the emotions from a loss. The stages presented are not sequential but are experienced in our own time. Power In Our Words When we share the most vulnerable experiences of our lives with others something miraculous happens. We allow the love of others to slowly seep in and heal our hearts. Each time our story is told we gain a little bit more power over the experience. It still hurts however our story starts to become something that brings hope for others. Our perspective changes to focus on how we are walking through it. Loss of Faith Losing your faith is also a grief process. Some of you may have experienced this or may be going through it right now. It can be painful, lonely, and confusing. You may feel angry, terrified, bitter, or empty. It's ok to feel this way as something so personal should bring out an array of emotions. During the process, there can be tendency to devalue previous spiritual experiences. I encourage you to find ways to bring further understanding and perspective to them. Those experiences are part of your life and your story. And though they may not mean the same to you as they once did, they are still of worth. Take time, listen to your heart, work through your thoughts, and talk to those willing to listen. The Rest of the Story Later that day, I was journaling outside on a picnic table, when the girl and one of her friends came to sit by me. The girl randomly asked to sign my journal. After they left, I looked back at what she had signed. It stated "Thanks for today! I have actually never cried about my brother." It was in those few written words that she confirmed my assumption that she had been holding on to the hurt and pain from the loss of her brother for over five years. This experience I hope started her on a healing journey in understanding the loss and moving forward with her life. Do you have a hole in your heart? Has your faith been shaken? Are you still working through loss? Press on to find your healing. Share your stories with others. Allow God to work through your experiences. I want to leave you with this scripture. Doctrine and Covenants 162 10a Collectively and individually, you are loved with an everlasting love that delights in each faithful step taken. God yearns to draw you close so that wounds may be healed, emptiness filled, and hope strengthened. 10b Do not turn away in pride, fear, or guilt from the One who seeks only the best for you and your loved ones. Come before your Eternal Creator with open minds and hearts and discover the blessings of the gospel anew. Be vulnerable to divine grace. Please share this blog post on your social media account if you have experienced loss or comment below if this post has been helpful for you.
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Welcoming others is crucial to building community. One way we can be inclusive is allowing people to have a place at the table. Inclusion, giving a voice, allowing all to be an equal part. If you have been rejected and cast out, know somewhere there is a table waiting for you. A table surrounded by others wanting to hear your voice and include you in their community. What Does It Mean For You? Have you ever felt like your voice didn't matter? Have you been able to speak your opinion but felt like the decisions were already made? I think when we truly have a place at the table dialogue happens. Stories are shared and people are understood and valued. There is no contention to change the other person, we accept them for who they are. For me, sitting at the table is a beautiful expression of setting aside our personal agendas to be with someone. Mutually deeming each other a person of worth despite any other categorical divisions that have been created. In the educational system I work in, it means valuing the voice each student has and sometimes helping them find their voice which has been lost. But what does it mean for you in the context of your life? Where Is Your table? You may not know where your table is but I hope you find it in your own time. The search is what's vital. It’s important we all find people that will further our spiritual journeys. People we can call our community. Identifying this community is no easy task. Ask yourself are they willing to listen to me? Are they willing to spend time getting to know me? Are they willing to love me for who I am? I know this community wants you to be yourself, your raw self. You will find your table, I know it. A table where you are welcomed and included. A place where your voice is heard and valued. For Everyone Born I want to leave you with a youtube clip of a song from the Lewis River Reunion. The song is called “For Everyone Born” written by Shirley Erena Murray. I encourage you to read the lyrics at http://www.cofchrist.org/for-everyone-born which also gives Ms. Murray’s description about how she came to write the song. Invite someone to your table this week! Eat with them, listen to them, and be present with them. I would love for you to share on our blog with a comment about how it went.
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Please Note The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Community of Christ. We believe individuals should be allowed to have their own opinions and be at different places in their faith journey.
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June 2021
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Emporia Ministry
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