A dog turned up at our neighbor's farm a year after my father died. He was a mutt that looked like he was part german shepherd. His rib cages were clearly visible, showing the lack of food and proper nourishment. As with any stray dogs we were weary of him however the dog showed a lot of playfulness. After some discussion my mother decided that I could keep him. I named him Rusty. Rusty immediately became my world and we did everything together. I would get off the bus from school and he would be waiting for me. Everyday we ran, played fetch, and explored the countryside. Rusty made me feel loved and cared for. A few months after, I got home from school expecting to see Rusty waiting for me, but he was nowhere to be found. Instead I saw my mother with tears in her eyes. She hugged me and told me Rusty had died. She explained how Rusty was hit while he excitedly ran beside a passing truck. I sobbed and held onto my mother tighter once the news sank in. I kept thinking how Rusty would never run with me again. We walked around the house finding him laying on the ground, unmoving. I noticed blood on his side where his thin rib cages used to be just months before. Again I cried for the loss of my friend and the best dog I ever had. It was years later, when I found out a different part of the story. My mother had actually found Rusty while I was still at school. She remembers crying profusely because she knew how upset I would be. She knew I would be hurt and there was nothing she could do about it. It was in that instance where I understood what true compassion is. Compassion is caring about the concerns and sufferings of others. When we truly care about others we have compassion for them. I find this relates to our spiritual lives because caring about the human spirit is the root of spirituality. It's not just our own human spirit but those around us. When we look at finding ourselves or our communities its about finding relationships with reciprocating compassion. Modeling Compassion Jesus was the ultimate model of compassion. He looked past what was happening in the moment to really grasp what individuals need. Much of Jesus healings took place after Jesus was filled with compassion. He cared for these individuals and the circumstances their lives where in. Just as Jesus, we can model compassion everyday in the interactions we have with others. One way to do this is to understand how your tone of voice, cadence, body language, and facial expressions can impact communication. Sometimes we are incongruent with our messages. When this happens people begin to guess whether what you said is really what you meant. Modeling compassion means our whole presence needs to match our verbal message. This something I struggle with and continue to work on daily. But when we truly show compassion with all of our presence we our taking after Jesus. I'll Pray For You Many times when others are hurting we say, "I'll pray for you." That's great prayer really does wonders and I believe it is important. But I think we have to ask ourselves is that all this person needs at this moment? Can we provide anything else to them during this difficult time that might put them at ease? When my father died our house became a jungle because of all the plants we received. There were so many that I could hide behind them and move throughout the house in complete camouflage. It was thoughtful to receive them but what my mother felt was most helpful was the gift of stamps given by a friend. The person knew my mother would send thank you's notes. It was the extra thoughtfulness that made the biggest impact. Being There One important part of the story above is my mother was there and supported me during a terrible incident. Sometimes we would rather go the other direction when bad things happen wanting nothing to do with it. But being part of a community calls us to stick it out through the muddy waters others find themselves in. Just like Cleveland Browns fans throughout what seems like forever since they have been good. No matter what our records have been a community is there for you. They tell you the bad news, they embrace you, and they continue to support you days afterwards. So be filled with compassion and give that compassion to those around you. What pet has meant the world to you? When have you been filled with compassion? Who has modeled compassion for you? Who has stuck it out with you? What community would be there for you? I sincerely hope all of you have had a pet that has meant a lot for you! This week use your presence to be there for someone else. Give them compassion, love, and support.
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One time in elementary art class, I was sitting across from my friend Nathan. I had this thick rubber band I was playing with as the teacher was instructing us on what we needed to do. Jokingly I pulled it back and pointed it at my friend who was sitting two to three feet across the table from me with no intention of letting it go. He cautiously moved around avoiding the direct line toward him. In the middle of this playful dance between us the rubber band slipped from my finger springing it forward. It flew straight at Nathan hitting him right in his eye. Immediately he grabbed his eye and his facial expressions showed a disbelief and anger for my actions. I felt horrible and apologized profusely. His eye turned red, watered, and he had trouble seeing out of it. The teacher eventually came around to our table at the far end of the room. First she noticed we were both behind having not listened to her instructions and second, Nathan's red eye prompting her to ask, "What had happened?" Nathan had every right to say something for my poor choices which probably would have ended with me going to the office however he instead told the teacher he got something in his eye. I was amazed and still am for the grace Nathan bestowed on me in the moment. A moment when he was in pain and yet chose to save me despite my actions against him. There is so much here relating to our spiritual journey which I will try to break down. Hopefully it can be helpful to anyone who has been unintentionally harmed. Unintentional Harm Churches sometimes hurt people when they do not mean too. This unintentional harm can come from practices, policies, personal disagreements, relational disputes, lack of action, and many other things. Many times a church or religious organization may not even realize the hurt they have been involved in because they are just practicing what they believe. We justify it in our heads that its ok because of our interpretation on scripture or some other religious experience. However if what we are practicing and believing is causing significant pain to others than an in depth reflection is needed. Our goal should always be on creating right relationships and healing in this world not brokenness and discord. I think God calls all of us to reexamine our beliefs, practices, and interactions with others. When we do this we create opportunities for us to become more knowledgeable, welcoming, inclusive, and supportive. When a person is in pain because of some kind of unintentional harm than the community has been hurt. Now I know what you are thinking, we can't keep everyone happy, so why should we be concerned. Well no you probably can't, however being community is about acknowledging disagreements, valuing differences, and supporting those whom need supported. When someone is hurting than the community is hurting. Sometimes unintentional harm causes people to stop coming. Sometimes that person just needs to know that they are wanted. Other times they have concerns which need addressed. Who has been hurt in your community? Who haven't you seen for awhile? Who needs to be listened to and valued? Doctrine and Covenants 161 3c. Be patient with one another, for creating sacred community is arduous and even painful. But it is to loving community such as this that each is called. Be courageous and visionary, believing in the power of just a few vibrant witnesses to transform the world. Be assured that love will overcome the voices of fear, division, and deceit. Sincerity If you noticed in the story, I immediately apologized profusely for my actions. Apologies are sometimes magical. They have the ability to soothe the situation and make things right. They can repair relationships and create healing in places where there has been pain. Sincerity is the essential part of any apology. Without it the heart and meaning has been lost and true healing has been missed. As I mentioned earlier churches or even personally we may not even know we have hurt someone which makes this part tricky. However when you first discover there has been harm done than we have the responsibility to address it and apologize for the actions that have occurred. Grace The last and most important part of the story is grace. No matter what we do God freely loves us. Despite our shame, guilt, and fear. God's grace prevails because its not about us. My friend Nathan bestowed grace on me. How often are we giving others grace, the benefit of the doubt in situations that arise? When we give others grace we give compassion, hope, and the ability for God to work in the moment. So no there is nothing we have to do to earn God's love however what we choose to do may end up being the hands and feet of God in this world. It may be your actions that lead someone else to experience grace. When have you caused unintentional harm to someone? Why is building community so difficult? When have you felt the sincerity of an apology? How have you felt grace in your life and how have you given it? I'm so glad fall is here! Bestow grace on someone this week whether at the grocery store, work, or in your home. Give them the benefit of the doubt and love them for who they are.
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Please Note The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Community of Christ. We believe individuals should be allowed to have their own opinions and be at different places in their faith journey.
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June 2021
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