Many years ago I was part of a church softball league. We were able to pull people we knew from around the community to form a team for Community of Christ. Every Sunday night we would head to the lights and take our positions out on the softball field. We quickly found out that our skill level compared to other teams was extremely limited causing us most nights to be non-competitive. Even with that we had fun and we continued to play hard.
Our second to last game we ended up somehow in the lead by one run in the bottom of the ninth inning. I changed out from pitcher that inning to centerfield. There was two outs with a runner on first. You could feel the emotion of our team as we were one out from clenching our first win of the season. The softball was pitched and the batter swung hitting a high fly ball straight to center field. I was stoked knowing I was in great position and this would cap off the win. Amped up, I began running forward a few steps. As I continued to position myself, the ball began carrying deeper and deeper into the field. Once I realized I had run up to much it was too late and the ball dropped behind me rolling to the fence. I ran after it and threw it in but by then it was too late. The batter and the base runner had scored winning the game for the other team.
The swing in emotions was brutal especially for me as I knew I had let my team down. The shame and disappointment immediately set in. I walked in hanging my head knowing so much hinged on my performance on that one play. Some of my teammates were heated not speaking while others patted me on the back. It was hard to look at them knowing I had disappointed them. I apologized and then we all dispersed to our cars to go back home. Most of the night my mind ran back through the game and in particular the last play. I beat myself up with negative comments and found myself restless throughout the night. Eventually I had to put it aside in my mind and tell myself mistakes happen. A mistake does not denote worth of a person.
Luckily that next week our team won finally satisfying our desire for a win. But this blatant experience reminds me of what the emotions of shame and disappointment can do to someone. This story just touches the surface of these emotions as there are so many other real and horrible experiences which cause deep emotional scars and lasting effects on our psyche.
God Believes You Have Worth
Through this whole experience I was still able to see my worth as a child of God and individual. However those with early childhood experiences and traumatic circumstances sometimes believe they have no worth and are not worthy. Community of Christ believes in the worth of all persons indicating no matter what you have been through or have experienced God loves you for who you are. All are worthy to come to the table to dine with the divine. It is in this concept where wholeness is found and healing takes place as people come to experience God through holistic relationships with others.
Its not easy to overcome these deep embedded emotions that sometimes unconsciously rule our lives. Much often goes back to trust in ourselves and others. There is power to our story and our ability to take the difficult steps needed for meaning and purpose. We must remember nothing is impossible when we come to God with an open heart and mind. Wholeness can be found and our lives can be restructured into something meaningful and profound.
All in all you have worth! You matter! God Loves You!
I hope everyone reading along is able to find and feel the worth they have as a child of God.
Please reach out with love to those you know to let them know their worth in your life. If you are ever needing anyone to talk with please comment below.
The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Community of Christ. We believe individuals should be allowed to have their own opinions and be at different places in their faith journey.