The Terrors of Shopping
One time when I was a kid, I accompanied my mother shopping at Walmart. She was looking through various racks of clothes which didn't set my heart ablaze with excitement. After waiting and waiting for what seemed like forever (and for a young boy it probably was) I decided I needed a plan to use my time. I quickly asked my mother if I could go look at the toys to which she agreed. I leapt down the aisles with a new found freedom from being released from the terrors of shopping.
rThe toy aisle had all my favorites and immediately lifted my spirits. I went from row to row exploring every last item, forgetting about the time. Somewhere in the midst of my exploration, I realized I had been gone for quite sometime and hurried back to where I had last seen my mother.
When I got there, I looked carefully for her but found no trace. I was flushed with worry, thinking I was lost in this big store and didn't know if I would find my mother. Naturally I did the smartest and most systematic thing possible, run furiously down the aisles. :) Tears began flowing down my face as my heart beat faster and faster.
Suddenly, I came around a rack and saw my mother calmly, gazing at clothes. She looked up and noticed my crying and worried look and immediately came to me. Her embrace calmed every fear and worry I had. In that moment I knew I was ok, that I was found. Of course my mother asked, What was going on? I quickly told her, "I thought I lost her." But my mother knew where I was and the time that passed was just a small amount. I still remember the joy I felt having found those loving arms again.
Our Faith Journey
I think this story can easily transfer over to our faith journey. Spiritually we may feel lost, scared and alone. We aren't for sure where to look next and what question to ask. We run furiously panicking to find what is right. Some of us may have even stopped looking and decided we are on our own. Wherever you are on your faith journey, I believe there is a long embrace waiting for you. A hug that will remove those fears and worries leaving you completely vulnerable and yet loved. The continued searching of your heart and mind will hopefully lead you to a faith community. Remember God knows exactly where you are and is waiting to embrace you. Take your time and slowly come to your destination.
Faith is meant to be lived out with other people. Through others we are able to find God and share the most vulnerable parts of ourselves. Faith communities focus us on relationships, deepening our faith in the process. Faith communities grow us spiritually and push us beyond our comfort zones so our gifts and talents can be fully utilized and shared. It is in community where we fully become aware of the wholeness of God in our lives. For those that do not have a faith community, I encourage you to courageously search for one that fits you; one in which love can grow where previous pain has been. Unsure where to go, check out the nearest Community of Christ by clicking here. If this is too big of step, please contact me and I would be happy to be a part of your faith community.
What Can You Do
Its important to ask yourself various questions about what you are searching for. Each has value and importance in leading you down the path that is right for you.
What experiences have led you to where you are at today?
What does your potential faith community look like and feel like?
What would your faith community be active in doing or living out?
What do you feel spiritually passionate about?
What specific part of your faith are you struggling with?
Who might be someone you could talk with about your searching?
Please hug someone this week! Give them a long embrace letting them know you love them! Also go to our activities page to see when our next small group is as we would love to have you join us!
Stages of Faith
American Theologian James Fowler wrote a book called "Stages of Faith" which identified a human faith development process. This link Stages of Faith through psychologycharts.com gives you a visual perspective of the process. I find this document extremely helpful with understanding mine and others spiritual journey.
There Is No Right Stage
Everyone is at a different spot on their spiritual journey. Key words their faith journey, not yours. Truth comes from many experiences and stages. It's important we acknowledge and value people where they are at. Sometimes it can be frustrating when we do not see other people questioning or thinking in similar ways about faith. But that's the beauty of faith development. It's a personal process that every individual dictates. As a welcoming community we need to be supportive of where others are and the belief systems they have. Dialogue is an excellent tool to gain understanding and needs to be used with respect in an essence of knowledge seeking not for the purpose of changing others. It's also important not to push others into a faith crisis. People will move on in their own time, and the pushing more than likely will cause a greater division rather than openness.
Individual growth is personal and happens differently for each person. These changes occurring deep within us or in our own understandings often leave us feeling alone. Churches in particular have a history of struggling to help individuals in this process. Contentions with what has been taught in church or the bible can cause individuals to be quiet for fear of being outcast or judged. Lack of communication and transparency heightens these fears. I want to assure you there are some churches who will assist in helping you work through your changing belief system without judgement. So be courageous and openly and honestly talk with others about your questioning.
Stage 5 - Focus On Community
I want to draw attention to Stage 5. It states truth can be found from many different experiences and begins to put more credibility in the aspect of community rather than individualism. The stage also identifies people gaining an understanding of life being full of mystery, removing the fear of individuals from having to have the right answers.
I find the idea of our community being the driving force behind our faith compelling. Living in community with others being the key aspect of faith. What this means is truly living out discipleship must be in conjunction with a community. It is in community where our faith grows and we respond in compassionate ways to assist others. Our focus changes from ourselves to the community, those around me that are continually in my presence.
Where Are YOU At?
I choose to live out my faith journey with Community of Christ. The emphasis on community and holding up the worth of all people speaks to who I am and what I feel God is about in this world.
How are you living out your faith journey? What stage of faith are you in? What communities are important for you? Who is driving you to a deeper faith connection? How does your community reflect you beliefs?
Thank you for all those reading and following along! Please share a question of faith you have with someone in your community. If you are uncomfortable with that please go to the contact us page and I will be happy to talk with you.
Many people struggle with this critical question when unfortunate events strike. Death, abuse, and loss are just some examples prompting this question. At nine years old I asked this question when my father unexpectedly died in a tragic accident. He was volunteering to help build a church in a neighboring town when a strong gust of wind moved a truss, knocking my father off the building. Between the tears, anger, and small bouts of depression I experienced I have continued to work through this deep question of life. I am sure many of you have also been struck by difficult life events. The hurt is real and I sincerely hope your healing process has begun. But is there something more we can do to address the hurting among our communities and answer this timeless question for ourselves?
Leave Out Common Phrases
After tragic life events I hear many common phrases which make me cringe. For example: “God only gives you what you can handle”, “This will only make you stronger”, “It’s God's Will”, “They're in a better place” or “This is just a test from God.” I think we often misunderstand how these well known phrases impact others. When these phrases are used God becomes connected to or even responsible for these events and we miss the opportunity to acknowledge the pain that is present. Instead of offering impossible answers, focus on being comforting; express your sorrow for their loss, help out with specific things the person needs done, or provide a welcoming presence and listening ear.
Listen and Understand
It is natural to try to avoid or remove pain, especially when it comes to those we love. "You're ok", "I've seen worse", or "I will handle it for you," are just a few common responses. Saying these phrases does not take away the pain, but instead minimizes the person's feelings. We must allow others to feel what they are experiencing, such as rejection, guilt, or loneliness. Again the most important role for us is to listen and be there for the individual. God has made you, so your presence can be comforting, your ears can listen, your words can be empathetic, and your heart can love.
Ask Deeper Questions About God
God is supposed to be all powerful, all knowing, and always present. Then why does God allow terrible things to happen if God knows they will happen and has the power to stop them? What if God is all powerful but just chooses not to act? How does inaction represent God's all encompassing love? If God doesn’t act, is God all powerful? If God is always present does that mean that God too is suffering along with us? If God is suffering with us does God truly feel my pain?
I think these are questions we have to wrestle with to truly understand who God is in our lives. Answers to these questions may be different for each one of us but I know I choose to believe in a God that loves me and suffers with me. God is love and love is powerful above all else.
As unfortunate as my father's death was for my family, I reflect back and see how it bonded us together with love. The love united us together as a family unit. That love between us and the love of our community (church, neighbors, friends) carried us into coping with and understanding the death. Although my siblings and I all came to terms with the loss in our own manner and time, it was through the suffering that we eventually saw God right there along with us, loving us each step of the way.
It's hard to find God and feel hope in those moments of suffering, when terrible things happen in our lives. But hope lives in both the best and darkest of days. A hope that calmly shouts, I am here with you! God has positioned you to be a vehicle for that hope, a comforting presence for others. How you respond can be vital to the healing process of others and the spiritual journey they are on. Love is powerful!
Find time this week to share your story of a difficult time in your life. This could be with a friend, neighbor, or loved one. I encourage you to write on our blog if this story impacted you.
The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Community of Christ. We believe individuals should be allowed to have their own opinions and be at different places in their faith journey.
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Community of Christ
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Independence, Missouri 64050
Phone: (816) 833–1000 or (800) 825–2806