I Don’t Have It All Figured Out

Many churches make bold claims about God, Jesus, heaven, hell, and various other Christian terms. It's awesome to have a belief system that helps you navigate the roadways of life. However when those belief systems cause division, point fingers or break down relationships then maybe its time they are questioned.  

​One thing my family and this faith community, have taught me that its ok to say “I’m not for sure” or “I don’t have it all figured out.” It's a freedom in knowing I do not have to have all the answers. The notion throws away rigidity and rightness and declares questions and lack of knowing as a natural process of our faith. With this sigh of relief people are allowed to lean into the divine being a mystery to which we are all discovering. Knowing any encounter can be the spirit breathing further understanding of God in our lives. 

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So why do some of us feel the need to be right and believe we have all the answers? How can our faith grow with the openness of not knowing?  

Understanding Bias

Much of peoples need to be right comes from our own personal biases. A bias is a prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair. When we specifically look at faith much of our beliefs come from what we have grown up knowing. We hold biases based on the belief system that has been engrained in us. Now this is not bad, its just important to be aware that how we see the world and what we believe about the world may not be the entirety of what there is.  


Chaehan So talks specifically about selective perception in regards to confirmation bias, self-serving bias, and hindsight bias. The ones he goes over is just a few of the 50 cognitive biases he states there are. It's a great Tedtalk informing us about our own internal processes and how many times we are wrong. Take the time to check it out as I promise he is entertaining and has good information.  

​So what does this information about biases mean for our unique faith journeys? Well we all might use this information differently. It informs me that I need to continually be open to listening and hearing ideas that are contrary to my prior judgements or beliefs. For others it may mean that exploring faith and other denominations is ok because its about figuring out what is right for you instead of holding onto potential bias. 


Faith Growing By Not Knowing

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Now many of us hate not knowing. I mean google is at our fingertips and with a few strokes we calm our fears by finding the answer.  Uncertainty can be a beast in our lives.  Researchers have found uncertainty is correlated with stress.  The article "Why We Hate Not Knowing For Sure" indicates the more someone knows what will happen the less stressed they are even it if is a horrible outcome. Its calming for us to know, and we seek out that feeling.  

However on the other hand, in some situations we can feel like we are the only ones that do not know causing added stress. Think about new experiences you have had, or walking into a church for the first time. We put stress on ourselves because we do not know how it will be or what to do. The article "The Wisdom of Not Knowing" talks about the freedom associated with not knowing everything. Many times others have been in the exact same situation or don't know either. But it seems like it takes so much time to figure that out. That's why being vulnerable is so important because it allows us to be free.

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With faith there is great benefits of knowing your beliefs. It becomes an internal and external moral compass for how we live. However knowing your beliefs can also create lines causing what is not on that side or challenges it, to be wrong. When we take on an attitude of not having it all figured out we open up the freedom of finding God in new ways. Now I'm not saying throw everything away. That would be demolishing and send us into a crisis. Your past faith experiences should be lifted up and held valuable. But just as there are two sides to every story we must figure out the rest of it for ourselves and what is right for us individually.  ​

It is perfectly ok to be set in what you believe if that works for you. Just be aware of how those beliefs inform your actions and dialogue with others. Ask yourself if it hinders in anyway relationships from being formed or good deeds from being done? If we are to live like Jesus we need to eliminate the biases from our lives by being open to the spirit that leads us. We must see outside of our own perceptual lenses. It is in this task of opening ourselves up that we may actually begin to figure things out.  ​

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This week reflect on your own interactions. Identify biases you have and how you can make changes.