Our guest blogger this week is Mellissa Ann Myers. She is 48 years old and has been sober for almost 7 years. Mellissa works as a Case Manager for Valeo Behavioral Healthcare; the adult mental health center for Shawnee County. She loves the social work aspect of this job and being able to help clients. Mellissa is also a classic movie buff and lives in Topeka, Kansas with her husband Justin. We are so thankful to have Mellissa share her heart and story with us today about how she found God and how it changed her life.
On January 9th 2013, I was done; done with life. I was ready to end it all. I was strung out on meth and drinking every day. I had lost all hope and had nowhere to turn. I was alone, jobless and homeless. The only way I earned any money was by selling the drug I was using, but my habit always came first so I didn’t make a lot of money. What little money I did make, I used to buy liquor so I could come down, sleep for a few hours and get back to hustling.
On this particular night I was crashing in a trap house and it was disgusting, roach infested and filthy!! But, it was a roof over my head and it was so cold outside so it was better than that. I had enough dope for a few days, I was high but decided I needed to be higher because my surroundings made me sick. The roaches were everywhere and when I went to pull out my gear to make up a shot, roaches started crawling out of my bag. It was horrible. I started to cry. I hated myself for where I was at and all I wanted to do was stay numb.
Everything hurt, my body was ravaged by meth and alcohol and I was just an empty shell of the person I used to be. The tears came again and they wouldn’t stop. I became angry because the tears were clouding my eyes and I couldn’t mix my shot. I told myself I was worthless and to stop being a baby and I immediately stopped crying. I hadn’t cried for a very long time so it was very uncomfortable.
As I sat there getting ready to stick a needle in my arm, I heard a voice say, “I’m here.” Most people know meth and lack of sleep cause delusions and that is what I thought it was; it wasn’t. Those two words gave me what I needed to stop what I was doing, get on my knees and cry out to God for help. “God if that was you please hear my cry, I don’t want to die and I can’t live like this anymore please free me from this hell I am in.”
At that moment my phone rang and it was a woman I had met at an AA meeting. (A meeting I went to only to get a cup of coffee and out of the cold.) Immediately this woman told me that God put me on her heart and so she decided to call to see if I was ok. I started crying and for the first time in a long time I was able to be honest and say, “No, I am not ok, I need help and I’m ready.”
This amazing woman came to me and took me out of that hell hole and helped me find my way. When I told her about hearing what I heard she let me know that, this is how God works. At that moment I knew I had no other choice but to surrender my life and will to God if I wanted to live.
I have not faltered from His path and have remained sober for the last 6 years; almost seven. This is the longest I have ever been sober since the age of 14. God blesses me everyday with another day of sobriety and I am so grateful!!!! His blessings are endless!!! Because of God I am a better person; I live my life for Him because He gave so much for me. This is only part of my story, but for me the most important part. This is what led me to believe in God again and how I got to where I am today!
Mellissa your vulnerability is incredible! Thank you for sharing your inspiring story with us. Our faiths become stronger when we are able to hear stories like yours.
This week listen to that still small voice leading you. Is there someone who needs your support right now? Go an be that support!
The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Community of Christ. We believe individuals should be allowed to have their own opinions and be at different places in their faith journey.