One morning my family was eating breakfast when my oldest son, who was 4 years old at the time, started a race to see who could finish their milk first. We all began chugging our milks. Of course I went slower to make the race close however ended up finishing first. I thought my son might show disappointment for not winning but instead I heard, "And the winner is Mistress Daddy." This was a reference to page 45 of the Richard Scary book "Cars and Trucks and Things that Go" where Mistress Mouse wins the race. He showed excitement, joy, and happiness for the events that transpired. His focus was on the joy he was experiencing in the moment. I realized sharing in people's joy is a major part of being welcoming. When we genuinely get excited for other peoples joy, connections are made creating opportunities for deeper relationships to prosper.
So how do we embrace our own and others joy? Let's look deeper at the wholeness aspect of sharing joy, how we can contribute to others feeling the emotion, and what specific things stop us from sharing and experiencing joy in our lives.
Making Joy Complete
Minimalist Joshua Becker wrote an article "Joy is Experienced to be Shared." In his article he states, "The practice of sharing new things with others improves their lives. It allows them to discover the same joy. But it also enhances ours as well. It makes our joy complete. It bring new fullness to our lives."
What does it mean that our joy is more complete when we share it with others? I think it means we can experience joy but the emotion is magnified when we are able to show and give it to others. It seems that sharing the joyful things in our lives gives others permission to share openly with us about their joy and also unhappiness.
5 Simple Ways We Can Share Joy With Others
1. Share recommendations - Give suggestions of books, movies, coffee flavors, new restaurants, etc. specifically with others you think would enjoy it.
2. Invite people to participate with you - Ask others to be a part of things that bring you joy. This might be bowling, having a movie night, participating in a book club, hiking, or singing karaoke.
3. Use social media - Social media can be an effective way to communicate to others the good news happening in our life. This is not to boast but humbly sharing activities and events that bring you joy. More specifically social media should be used to directly communicate to others. Many scroll feeds cause people to be envious and ultimately depressed. Read this Psychology Today article about how Facebook causes users to be sad. Social media used in the right way helps communicate and invite others to participate in joy.
4. Tell Jokes - Laughing and smiling are healthy things for us. Telling and sharing in jokes with others keeps people light hearted.
5. Invite Others to Share in Ministry - Ministry is about bringing support and comfort to other people. It's an activity of peace bringing. So asking others to help in ministry is a powerful way to experience joy from the service you give.
I want to share this short video called Joy Story to provide another way of illustrating how joy is about giving and sharing.
What Stops Us From Sharing Joy
Usually there are certain things holding us back from sharing joy with others. Let's look closer at some of these.
Judgement From Others
Many times we hold back from sharing in fear of what other people think. This makes an assumption that other people will not like it. Not only do we miss out on the opportunity to share but others miss out on the potential of something which could positively impact their life.
Sometimes our own self-images stop us from sharing. Self-image is made up of three components. 1. The way we think of ourselves 2. How we interpret others perceptions of ourself 3. Who we would like to be. We might contain our joy because thats not who we are or doesn't fit our image. Also sharing joy may not be our ideal self or fit with others perceptions of who we are. Joy is an emotion we experience that brings happiness to the world. If we are able to let joy to be expressed without the context of who we are in the world than we free the emotion. If you want more information on self-image go to this article about self-image by Adam Sicinski.
Fear of Depressing Others
I think its awesome that we empathetically think about others. However we make the assumption the other person doesn't want or need to hear about my joy because of what's happening in their lives. This is a case by case basis but I think we should often side on sharing when appropriate. Sharing openly can cause others to become joyful! Being apart of someone else's joy is fun and exhilarating. It also provides an opportunity for them to reveal exactly whats happening in their lives. In other words we get to become a listening support.
Out past experience plays a lot into what we share with others. If people have been cynical to our joy than we usually refrain from sharing. There are some people in which joy brings discomfort. It may be an emotion that hasn't been allowed to be shown or past trauma which has buffered its full effect. We need to be aware of this when interacting with others. However we should not allow past experiences to prevent us from sharing our life with others.
Forget the Invitation
The most often is that we forget to invite others to be apart of what we are doing. We think its too late, or their already busy. People are more isolated than ever before. Don't believe me look at this article from The Conversation. That's right people are longing for more interaction in their lives. They are longing for people that get them, that they can connect with. Many times it all starts with an invitation to do something joyful. So go out there and invite!
Questions for Discussion
When is a time you experienced joy?
What is something you get joy out of that you can share with somebody else?
What barriers do you have that prevent you from experiencing joy or sharing it with others?
This week I hope you find yourself inviting others to be joyful with you.
Next week we will be focusing on how books can help us become more diverse and inclusive. To do this we have a special guest blogger by the name of William Ottens who is a librarian by trade and works at Lawrence Public Library. He is the creator of the blog Librarian Problems which uses GIF's to address problems librarians face in a creative and funny way. So I hope all of you are as excited as I am to have William help us discuss this topic.
Craig Hidy like the majority of ministers in Community of Christ is a bi-vocational, self sustaining ordained minister. He is a member of the Midlands Mission Center Emporia Team and an ordained Seventy. He and his family, live in Topeka, Kansas.
What is a Seventy?
The Seventy carry out missionary work for the church in close association with other missionary leaders. They represent Christ primarily as ministers of evangelism through witnessing, inviting, and church planting. They especially proclaim and promote Jesus Christ’s invitation to faithful discipleship through vibrant witness, and train individuals and congregations in witness and invitation. They particularly minister with seekers, individually and in groups, to share the gospel in relevant ways and to invite response. They support sacramental ministries by preparing people for baptism and/or confirmation, presiding at sacramental services, and performing most sacraments. They promote community by inviting individuals, households, and families to respond to Christ’s call to discipleship. They promote justice and peacemaking by inviting people to experience all aspects of Christ’s peace through active discipleship. They create ministry partnerships with mission center officers, apostles, elders, and evangelists.
The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Community of Christ or Midlands Mission Center. We believe individuals should be allowed to have their own opinions and be at different places in their faith journey.